Unassisted Miscarriage

Our baby has gone back home to heaven. It's all I can say. I am sad to not have met that beautiful face, and yet rejoice at another soul going home to Him.

I had started spotting last Monday after a day of pain and discomfort. I had gone to the ER where the staff was more or less indifferent. I wish I could say that it was just the staff at this particular hospital, but having talked to others I know better than that.

I stayed home on bed rest that whole week praying that this would pass and a healthy baby would result. Alas that was not to be. This morning I awoke feeling terribly crampy and not just spotting, but now bleeding lightly and I knew it was time. I lay in bed with DH and cried. I cried not only for the physical pain, but for the lose of my baby that I knew was soon to come. I also knew that I did NOT want to go back to that cold indifferent hospital to be treated like it didn't matter. It does matter. It matters to me and my family!

At 6:45, I went into the bathroom and passed what was obviously meant to be the placenta. Had it been whole and full if life it may have been the size of a small plum. It was awful, beautiful and awe inspiring.

I'm feeling a bit better physically. The cramps are letting up (thank you God). My heart still hurts for never having met my little person, but I find tremendous comfort in knowing that God knows what He is doing. I do not know what that baby's life would have been like, and I never will this side of Heaven, but I look forward to meeting him or her again for the first time when I get there. I want to thank God for giving me the chance to be a Mommy again, if only for a very short while.

Me